Welcome to my blog, my little place on the big internet.
I am Iris, I am 23 and I live in the Netherlands. I believe in God and I believe in Jesus but religion is not 100% my thing. I study Applied Physics and I am currently doing my final master’s research.
I love taking pictures and I have my own small photography business. Sometimes I write short stories and poems and I am also learning to play the guitar. I am always singing (even in my sleep sometimes) and being quiet is something I’m not good at.
I have a few illnesses and am disabled. You can read more about my health on my diagnosis page.
So yeah, I try to blog about my life but it's mostly about my illnesses because I am an ill and that makes up most of my life.
**What you are viewing now, is my life, in its purest form. You may not understand the rambling of my mind in the form of a few words or a picture, but that is okay because I do. **
Creativity is the air that I breathe; it's in the words that I say, the moves that I make, the songs that I sing. Please accept me for that, because I have.
I hope you like what you are about to see.
I just got my hands casted (is that the right word?) and in three weeks I’ll have my thumb splints. It would be wonderful to not have my thumbs dislocate multiple times a day. I also got fitted for silver knucklebenders, but they’ll take a little longer.
All I want is to know what my future is going to look like so I can plan accordingly. Are there more diagnoses to be made? Is there more pain to be felt? Is this the healthiest or the sickest I’m going to be? Am I going to go downhill and if so, when? I want to live my life as best as I can but it’s difficult to plan with unpredictability. Can I please just have a manual of what’s going to happen?
There is no such thing as a bad dog. Only bad people.
You probably have heard of mitochondria (the powerhouse of the cell) and of chloroplasts (gives the leaves green pigment, used in photosynthesis). But did you also know that according to the endosymbiosis hypothesis, the mitochondria & chloroplast were once free-living cells. They were “swallowed” into other larger cells and became a subcomponent. Evidence for this includes the fact that both these structures have their own DNA and can self-replicate.
Mitochondria is the prisoner of the cell
And that’s how we can determine our history as humans, because you will have the same mitochondrial dna as your mother, who will have the same as hers etc.
I will write about the following, leave one in my ask box.Dear person I hate,
Dear person I like,
Dear ex boyfriend,
Dear ex girlfriend,
Dear ex bestfriend,
Dear future me,
Dear past me,
Dear person I’m jealous of,
Dear person I had a crush on,
Please please please please PLEASE!
Abusive Expectations - Makes impossible demands, requires constant attention, and constantly criticizes.
Aggressing - Name calling, accusing, blames, threatens or gives orders, and often disguised as a judgmental “I know best” or “helping” attitude.
Constant Chaos - Deliberately starts arguments with you or others. May treat you well in front of others, but changes when you’re alone.
Rejecting - Refusing to acknowledge a person’s value, worth or presence. Communicating that he or she is useless or inferior or devaluing his or her thoughts and feelings.
Denying - Denies personal needs (especially when need is greatest) with the intent of causing hurt or as punishment. Uses silent treatment as punishment. Denies certain events happened or things that were said. Denies your perceptions, memory and sanity by disallowing any viewpoints other than their own which causes self-doubt, confusion, and loss of self-esteem.
Degrading - Any behavior that diminishes the identity, worth or dignity of the person such as: name-calling, mocking, teasing, insulting, ridiculing,
Emotional Blackmail - Uses guilt, compassion, or fear to get what he or she wants.
Terrorizing - Inducing intense fear or terror in a person, by threats or coercion.
Invalidation - Attempts to distort your perception of the world by refusing to acknowledge your personal reality. Says that your emotions and perceptions aren’t real and shouldn’t be trusted.
Isolating - Reducing or restricting freedom and normal contact with others.
Corrupting - Convincing a person to accept and engage in illegal activities.
Exploiting - Using a person for advantage or profit.
Minimizing - A less extreme form of denial that trivializes something you’ve expressed as unimportant or inconsequential.
Unpredictable Responses - Gets angry and upset in a situation that would normally not warrant a response. You walk around on eggshells to avoid any unnecessary drama over innocent comments you make. Drastic mood swings and outbursts.
Gaslighting -A form of psychological abuse involving the manipulation of situations or events that cause a person to be confused or to doubt his perceptions and memories. Gaslighting causes victims to constantly second-guess themselves and wonder if they’re losing their minds.
The last one is a killer and very important.
this is extremely important tw #abuse
No longer walking on eggshells and being able to be completely me has been an amazing transition in my life.
It wasn’t until I went to therapy years ago that I realized I had been abused in this manner. It feels great to love myself again!
Oh wow. That just described my father perfectly. Yeah, he was scum.
No catching seasonal bugs, no colds, no flu, no stomach bugs, none of that
I’m ill enough already thank you very much
I’m too sick to do stuff, but not sick enough to not get bored.
I have a headache that is a 9 on the pain scale and I am just sitting on my bedroom floor crying because of the pain.
Thanks for all your support you guys:) I am feeling a bit better today and I’m still taking things slow:)